Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school there wouldn’t be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.

***

The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn’t stop until you get to school.

***

A teacher was asked to fill out a special questionnaire. One question said, «Give two reasons for entering the teaching profession.» The teacher wrote: «July and August.»

***

Mom: What did you do at school today?
Tom: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a maths exam.
Tom: That’s right!

***

Teacher: «Name two pronouns.»

Student: «Who, me?»

Teacher: «Good job!»

***

Teacher: «If you had one dollar and asked your dad for another, how much would you have?»

Student: «One dollar.»

Teacher: «You don’t know maths!»

Student: «You don’t know my dad!»

***

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”

***

Teacher: I killed a person. Tom Green, convert this sentence into Future Tense, please.

Student Tom Green: You will go to jail. 

***

If a single teacher can’t teach us all subjects, then how can you 

expect a student to learn all of them? 

***

Student: «Teacher, I can’t solve this problem.»
Teacher: «Read it to me.»
Student: «If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would I have?»
Teacher: «Big hands!»